cOuNt yoUr bLeSsinGs

3 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved." (Ephesians 1:3-6, ESV)

I have heard these verses recited from memory from my friend Nancy countless times. So that now when I read these verses, I hear Nancy's voice in my head. It is kind of nice since Nancy and her husband Dave just moved to Ohio. Friendship, is it a spiritual blessing? 

What are spiritual blessings? Well, let me take a stab at the question. First I would say that spiritual blessings are eternal. They can not be moved or destroyed. If we are friends and sisters (or brothers and sisters) in Christ then that will be for eternity. The Blessings are "In Christ." What do we have in Christ? Everything we need for life and godliness is how the apostle Peter put it. We have the Love of God, Redemption, Fellowship with the triune God, Forgiven, Peace, Grace, Mercy and the list goes on. The ESV Study Bible says that these a "saving gifts"and that the Holy Spirit guarantees these future Heavenly Blessings.  So, I imagine that if we are both on the Pilgrim Highway making our way to the Celestial City, then it is a blessing to be sharing in these saving gifts. 
This may not be the usual way to count my blessings. In fact, I thought about just quoting some of that Hymn and the history I read about the song said it was based on Ephesians 1:3-6 and that is what got me going in that direction. Hopefully, my gratitude is evident in this post. 

Days of Auld Lang Syne

In the early hours of the new year, I found myself reading about a song I kinda know and you kinda know but until today, I had never fully heard the words. It reminded me of being a sixteen year old girl who was a lector in the church I grew up in and not being able to hear or understand the words I was reading. The song is Auld Lang Syne. Did you sing it or hear others singing it last night? Or perhaps you know all the words and you actually know what you are singing.

I was at a party last night and we raised a glass to ring in the new year (a non-alcoholic one for me) and then a few people sang the song and I listened. My ears were opened today as I read this article from yesterday's Wall Street Journal by Peggy Noonan. In essence the song says, Remember the people who have touched your lives, those you have met along the pilgrim highway. Often, I have wanted to write about those people who have touched my life and highlight how they have affected me but often it is far too personal to be specific. Let's just say that the blessings of friends and family have far outweighed the wounds that I have received in this life.

Happy New Year to all that I have encountered upon this journey in 2010. At the risk of offending some, I will list these dear people and if you ought to be included here please comment and remind me of our meeting on the road of life this past year.

Dan, Grace, Katie and Michael Mullaney: my immediate family.

Billy and Kelly Mullaney, Barry and Mary Mullaney, Bill Mullaney (dad), Jimbo and Karen Mullaney, Ellen and Paul Lippens, Shosh and Paul Babson, Smully, Paul A. MacDonald, Peter and Tammie MacDonald, Laura MacDonald, Paul and Joan MacDonald (dad and mum): our extended families.

Now I will got back in hopes that none will be forgot:

Becky and Cliff Mort, Mike and Kim Abendroth, Nancy Myers, Dave and Vida Farrar, Marie Steinmann, Fran Walken, Flo Paras, Marie and Tom Bertrand, Charlie and Elaine Crane, Cindy and Scott Farrar, Steve and Janet Cooley, Deb and Dana Peterson, Bruce and Lori Pelissier, David MacAdam, Joanne and Glenn Gray, Steve and Carol Gray, Elizabeth Kehoe, BonnieJean Wiebe, Kristen Neprud, Devan Wiebe, Diane and Clark Pitchford, Pam and Kenny Hopkins, Kelly and Phil Bower, Eunice and Au Au, Dina Webb, Cathy Creed, Misun Min, Helen Kim, Mary and Jeff Weix, Little Joe, Joe the Builder, Howard, Marilyn, Marcia, Charlie, John, John, Lorraine, Mr. Norton (Karen Mullaney's dad) Uncle Bill, Lorraine, Cousin Anna, Eileen, Elena, all the old men regulars at Endicott Variety, Sharon Scanell, Gail and John Lefferts (There are more I am sure but it has been a crazy 24 hours).

Again, I am reminded that people matter. It is in the context of human relationships that we continue to become who we are because we have been a part of one another's lives in big and small ways.

A new day and a new year is an opportunity for renewed hope.

Names written on my heart

Alberta and Patricia (surnames withheld) are two names that were written on my heart during childhood. I hadn't seen either of them in years and with the 25th Reunion (that the 3 of us were not invited to but no offense taken....they probably couldn't handle the possibility of the 3 of us showing up together) I thought it would be great to see them again.

We met for lunch this past Wednesday, the day after the historic MA Senate Race and in our 2 hour plus meeting we managed to escape talking politics and religion. How do 3 thoughtful, caring American women manage that? I have thought about it and I have come up with some ideas and a conclusion.

The three of us are strong personalities and I think it would be safe to say that all of us are opinionated. Differing opinions were not on the menu. On my count, I had a thought or two cross my mind, after all I had bought 4 papers that morning and friends from across the country were inquiring about the Senate Race. It wasn't just local but national news. However, I wanted to just enjoy these dear friends, so I let the thoughts come and go. It wasn't even a restraint. My focus was on the two dear hearts that I had the honor of breaking bread with on this winter afternoon in the greater Boston area. I didn't want to break this circle of friendship. It was just the start of catching up. May I be so bold to say that each of us has grown in wisdom and each of us value one another more than our opinions and beliefs. Although, our opinions and beliefs matter to each of us and I was curious about what Patricia and Alberta think about all kinds of things, nobody brought up either subject.

As I have continued on this pilgrimage called life, I realize more and more how much people matter. These days I am more of a student than teacher for my children. These young adults place a high value on people. People matter. It is true. So, my conclusion is that we were conquered by something greater than ourselves, Love. Love conquers all and I was able to bask in it for the rest of the day.

There is something curious and wonderful about the people who etched their names on your heart when you are young. Some names fade away but others may only gather dust, it just takes one to make direct contact with the other for the name to become visible again. When the faces meet the hearts though now filled with more names burns bright with love for one another. I love you, Alberta. I love you, Patricia.

Pax Vobiscum,

CM

"I fall, I fail and I cry out for mercy"

A week ago today we attended church with dear friends of our in central MA. There were two families who dedicated children to the Lord. One man who dedicated his second child to the Lord used the following scripture as a prayer request to the seated congregation. From Deuteronomy 6 verses 4 through 9.

"Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one!

"You shall love the LORD your God with

all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.

"You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

"You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.

"You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

I couldn't help but think to myself, is he listening to the words he is saying? does he mean it? Is he willing to do what it takes to "teach" his children "diligently"? If I hadn't been so tired, I would have like to have gone right up to him and his wife after the service and ask him if he meant it. So many things get in the way of us accomplishing this goal.

As I have referred to in previous posts, we are in the home stretch, the heart break hill of parenting. We know that our time with our children now 15,16 & 18 is quickly nearing the finish line. Not that we will no longer be their parents but our role as their parents is changing drastically at this time. Every day I am more convinced that the shortest season of life is childhood. Some say that educating children at home is a calling and this passage above may indicate that it is a little more like a command. If you give away the most precious hours of the day to another whether they be private or public educators, I have a hard time seeing how you can execute Deuteronomy 6. Perhaps the messages of the modern day American church coupled with the messages of the culture seem to be right since that is what most Americans Christians are doing. The Lord however has given us minds, to think, to reason and to question the church and the culture. To see if what these two influences have to say match up with what the Lord has to say. It is difficult to stop and to seek the LORD, search the Word and have HIM search our hearts.

As a Christian, the first authority in my life is Jesus Christ and His Word and believe me I fall, I fail and I cry out for mercy because I can't live up to HIS standards, but GOD is bigger than my faltering ways and HIS GRACE is sufficient to meet all our needs. I have seen the LORD work in my children and I know that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God's purpose. The reason we continue to educate our children at home is primarily out of obedience to God and I can say without regret that this small act of obedience has produce the greatest joy in parenting. This time with our children has allowed us to cultivate relationships with our children that we could have never imagined. Hopefully, we have helped prepared them for life to be affective agents for God's Kingdom.

So my prayer for this couple who are longtime married and very new parents to two little ones is that they would take this scripture to heart, that they would be a living sacrifice in their parenting, indeed that they would walk and talk and impart the ways of the Lord to their children. I sit here convicted by my own words. With the little time left, I pray that my husband and I would take the time to give of ourselves to our children while they still live with us.

PAX VOBISCUM,

CM

My friend Carol Gray
Tomorrow is Carol's birthday and it is about time that I wrote about her on my blog.

We all have people in our lives that are mainstays no matter how radically our lives may change there are people who will be there no matter what. Carol Gray is one of those people in my life. Our cherish friendship has continued to grow even though we have been miles apart.
When we started traveling almost 5 years ago, it was Carol who threw us an intimate going away party. On our first return to New England, she called me as we were leaving Pennsylvania on our move from Knoxville, TN in the late summer of 2005 and said, what are you doing on Sunday? I said, "coming to your house?" and she said, "Do you think you can make it? Stephen is going to be baptized." And you can bet that is where we found ourselves. The only plans we had at the time were driving and making our way to Vermont.
As we found ourselves on a second return to New England this fall, I made plans with Carol to stay with her upon our arrival in the Bay State. Their family lives in our old hometown and we had plan to stay one night. We ended up staying for four nights as my van broke down while trying to leave, my old mechanic fixed the van and we were on our way, after being taken care of by my dear friend.
Carol is a faithful friend and sister in Christ. One of the sweetest, warm hearted human beings I know. The embodiment of a loving handmaiden of her Lord. Carol is the beloved of her husband, Steve and the devoted mother of 5 beautiful children. She is unwaivering in her dedication to her own family as well as the body of Christ. I am very grateful for Carol being in my life.
Happy Birthday Carol!!!

Red Girl
My daughter, Katie is one of the most interesting people I know. She also happens to be one of the most loving and accepting ones. Katie comes along side the underdogs and encourages them to not lose heart. Once Katie is your friend, you have a friend for life.
I would like to share a little bit of Katie's journey recently. A number of her friends are from the NCFCA (the competitive forensics league that all 3 of my children compete in) and Katie's response to the latest results are a testimony to who she is as a person.
In May of 2005, Katie was one of the masters of ceremonies for FUSION speech and debate club's National Rehearsal. We invited people and it was standing room only. I pretty much told Katie that she had to do it and being obedient, she did, knees knocking and voice quivering. She did a pretty good job but she would have rather been taking pictures at that point in time. Katie is what mothers in the forensics community call, "my reluctant speaker."
The following fall Katie attended a Communicators for Christ conference, partnered with a young man from NH and competed with some speeches for the 2006 competitive speech and debate season with FUSION in SW Florida. It was not an easy season, afterall her mother made her do Impromptu. The point is Katie was willing to walk through her fear and learn better how to communicate. My reluctant speaker stepped out of her comfort zone and began to take the public platform. Something happened to Katie during that year. She realized that she could be an effective public speaker, but it wasn't until this season that she really blossomed in the place she had been planted, a place of leadership.
Our extended stay here in Gainesville gave Katie an opportunity to become a student leader along side her brother and sister in both speech and debate. Needless to say, her impromptu skills have been sharpened through coaching throughout the season. More importantly, Katie related to her fellow competitors especially being able to encourage them to walk through their fears because she had not only walked through her own but found out the joy of taking the public platform.
As we came into the home stretch of this competitive season, I for one thought Katie was well on her way to the National Competition, she had a good tournament season qualifying for debate and her 3 speeches for the Regional tournament. The Lord always has a better plan. It was not immediately evident to me, since I was helping run the tournament but a dear friend of mine each time she saw me on the last day reminded me that Katie was the biggest winner. It did not hit me until the next day.
Katie was the biggest winner because she made sacrifices and became a coach and friend to many here in Gainesville. She gave up debating with one of the best debaters in our Region (her sister) in order to partner with someone new and think of others before herself. Katie still put her all into debating and competed with excellence but the outcome was not what we expected. However, Katie held her head high and stayed right in the race by timing and serving at the tournament.
I started this post talking about Katie being a great friend of those who might otherwise want to stay on the sidelines. Time and time again, I have witnessed her rescue someone from themselves and help them become a part of the group, the party and the club. Katie is gifted with the ability to draw others out of their shells and at the same time preserve the new friend's spirit while gently breaking through their timidity. I am not the only one who has noticed this trait in K. Nearly a year ago, Katie's good friend Mallory Phillips at the Tallahassee CFC in August decided to start "The Official Katie Mullaney Fan Club" and I would say that I am at the top of the list. Katie knows how to give of herself and consider others better than herself. If you are interested in becoming a member of the club please email me at catherine.mullaney@gmail.com and I will forward it on to Mallory.
I love you Katie M. Mullaney and I am very proud of you. Mum

Forgiveness
So many of us need it. I know I do. As a very small child I learned what we called the Our Father ( Ah Fathah) and lots of people call it the Lord's Prayer, as indeed it is, the disciples asked and so he taught, "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." It is a funny thing with Christians. When I say that I am sorry, I was wrong for opening my mouth and putting my foot in it. The response is often, "that's ok." Well, no, it is not ok. When I am saying I am truly sorry, I am asking for forgiveness. It leaves me to wonder, do these brothers and sisters in Christ forgive me or do they reserve the right to hold it against me?
Because I did not grow up learning about the exchange of confession of sin and a loving response through forgiveness, Dan and I set out to help our children in this area. When you do wrong to your brother or sister, you don't just say, "sorry" with a pouty face, instead you say, "I am sorry I hit you with my teddy bear." We had them name their sin and then the response was, "I forgive you." Once when the girls were very small, Grace told Katie that she had to forgive her or God wasn't going to forgive Katie for 2 weeks. We still laugh about that one.
So, it puzzles me. I fall short and find myself sinning against the ones I love and I make myself vulnerable, name my sin and apologize but the ones who are called ministers of reconciliation don't verbally forgive me and are content with a trite "that's ok." (IT IS NOT OK) It doesn't console me that my side of the street is clean. I decided that I needed to look up some scriptures concerning this issue,

Matthew 6
14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Mark 11

25And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."^[a]

Luke 6
37"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

I don't want my beloved left in an unforgiven state any more than I want to be left there. Going over this post with one of my children, I realized that for someone to say, "I forgive you." is admitting that my sin hurt you and that is a vulnerable place to be. The thing is, that when someone is willing to complete this relational exchange by being that vulnerable it makes the friendship stronger and the love deeper.

This post is dedicated to my dear friend CK.