Sunday, June 25, 2006

A Crack in my soul
There is a crack in the new glass coffee table and we have been here just over 24 hours. It really doesn't matter how it happened. My knowing the cause will not mend it. A slight disturbance does not need to become anger at one of my family members ~ funny, I just really liked the piece of glass as a whole and now it is in two pieces. People's lives have many cracks in them. We don't like a lot of what we see in ourselves and others. As pride-filled humans we do our best to hide most of these cracks from one another. The longer I live, the more I realize that we all have broken places and some of them have just surfaced within the last day.
Accepting the cracks in ourselves and others enables us to grow in our relationships with one another. Some of these flaws we need to bring to the Lord and ask for healing or guidance or perhaps we are in need of discipline - we are to bring our burden to Him. It is not up to us to tell the Lord to fix something in our brother. Sure we can pray for him and ask the Lord to help him but it is more effective in our relationships if we ask for grace and acceptance to love our brother right where he is.
For me the most painful cracks are the ones in my personal relationships. Some are really obvious to myself, the other person and anyone who knows both of us and our history. Others are the most personal in nature, there is a crack in the foundation of the relationship and it can only be mended if both parties are willing and I believe there needs to be a mutual surrender to the Lord. It will be a healing touch from the hand of God. There are requirements for us _ forgiveness, grace and understanding however it is God who provides there for us. When God is the foundation of a relationship, it has exactly what it needs to withstand the storms that happen in the best of relationships.
Moving on and knowing that new relationships are on the horizon, I've been looking back over this past assignment in Naples Florida at a number of friendships that have developed over the last 2 years. Some bring joy to my heart, some have wounds that are healed and the relationship continues to grow, some cracks are sharp and particularly painful and others are broken in such a way that I don't have much hope for restoration.
There is a question in my mind about a certain relationship in which I need to say something but I am not sure what to say, when to say it and how to even approach the issue of the crack. In my humanness, I want to shake the dust off of my feet or wash my hands of the whole thing - move on in my heart and mind as well as my hands and feet. Yet my spirit in agreement with the Lord's says, this needs healing - do your best to work it out - at least from your side. So that means some "soul searching " for me in the next week or so.
Please pray for me.
Pax Vobiscum, CM
Catherine Mullaney copyright 2006

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