Every life matters



"Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
Mark Twain
For quite some time I have been thinking about blogging on the second most important part of the paper, the obituaries. I really like what I found on the online Etymology dictionary: from L.[Latin] obitus "departure, a going to meet, encounter."
In the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 7 it says that the day of our death is better than the day of our birth. In some respects I agree. It is hopefully, a life well lived. Some obituaries are extremely sad not because of the amount of people left behind or the young age that some die but because there are very few words written and no survived by list. Those are the ones I find extremely sad. I take those to heart knowing that some day my obituary will be written and I will be going to my eternal home.
However, no man is an island. Each life does effect another and I believe that this the way God intended it to be. We have no idea how we do indeed influence one another but the fact remains that no matter how you live your life, it will effect the life of another. For some reason I keep thinking of the homeless, that man, woman or teen that you might see on the street or in the park they are some one's son or daughter. If the parents are still alive the absence of that person in their life carries a certain heartache.
So, I guess this leads us back to life. How am I living life? What kind of impact am I having on the people around me? When its time for me to move on, will there be something worth writing in my obit? Where will I get my perspective on this living and dying business? Who will lead me through this life and certain death? (none of us makes it out of this world alive) Why should I even bother giving the death notices the time of day?
I would like to answer that last question. The short answer is: Every life matters. Just reading about people I never met is a way to honor their memory. Then there are loved ones of those that I love who pass on and I want to be able to acknowledge their loss, come along side them in their pain and help them continue to walk on in this life. In today's Sunday Herald, Margery Eagan wrote about a soldier who was killed in combat and given the full honors of a military funeral. We need to remember those who are willing to fight and die for us even if we disagree with the war. Mourn with those who mourn.
Life has been the biggest adventure. Sure there have been seasons that I've drudged through and I am grateful for the simpler days that I have known. In some ways I romanticize them, but it is important to remember that every day is a gift. It is after all the only day that we are guaranteed. And yes: Live like today is your last because if very well may be.
Some links to get you interested in the final curtain call:
http://www.obitpage.com/obits/m/massingberd_hugh4.html
http://www.goodbyemag.com/
http://www.legacy.com/NS/

This blog dedicated to my Auntie, Mary Fitzgerald who is still alive and kickin' and use to say,
"I read the obits first and if my name isn't there, then I can read the rest of the paper."

Miles like Years
by Catherine Mullaney

Another blue sign for GAS and FOOD yet we are not hungry
and I've got a full tank
Another little boy in the ladies room with his mommy
begging to be in the men's room

Looking for traveling mercies
again I get behind the wheel
Looking for peace in the journey
the miles speed by like the years

Wild flowers grow on the median
A country church sits on one side of the highway
Golf course cut out on the other
Motor homes and semis race down the road
Signs for history museum remind us of the stories
from the past
tired from another long expedition


Looking for traveling mercies
again I get behind the wheel
Looking for peace in the journey
the miles speed by like the years

Trip meter says I only have 100 miles behind me
and so many more to go
I note "Lodging this exit" but its not time to rest

So I am looking for traveling mercies
again I get behind the wheel
Looking for peace in the journey
the miles speed by like the years
yes, the miles speed by like the years

Basically I wrote the core of these lyrics while driving home from AL/Ga. It most likely was written quite a bit in Tennessee where one genre rules. So, the words may come across like a song out of Nashville. There is nothing wrong with that. I have put close to 18,000 miles on my vehicle this calendar year, traveling with Katie and Michael, with only an occasional extra passenger or two. I know the truckers, pilgrims and other crazy mums like myself will have probably identified with my thoughts and feelings.

A Covenant

As much as Emily and Patrick's wedding was a celebration, it also had it's serious side of this is a covenant that neither one of them is taking lightly. There was talk of marriage not being easy, there were prayers and words of laying down one's life in order to live for the other. Thoughts of my own children (Katie and Michael sitting beside me) coming of age and wondering about the things they still need to learn and know before making such a commitment ran through my head. Thoughts of Dan and Grace were not far from me as I felt there absence.

Overall it was a joyous occasion and the Lord was a focal point. It was great to worship with Emily and Patrick as this is the first thing they wanted to do as husband and wife. We were led by Emily's sisters Erin and Lauren. Overall, a great shout of joy rang out as we praised the name of our God and lifted up grateful hearts.

What amazes me most is Emily's patience. Ever since I have known her, she has wanted the title of Mrs. It is a dream come true and her longing has been fulfilled, yet this is only the beginning. There will be pain as well as joy, laughter and tears, good times and trying times and above all the Love of Christ which is the glue that holds any Christian marriage together.

Sunrise, Sunset

Have you ever seen the Father of the Bride practically leap out of his shoes with so much joy? Yesterday, I did. Katie, Michael and I attended the wedding of a dear friend and we are friends of the Bride. Instead of ushering his daughter in with the traditional wedding march, Randy Smith sang acapella, "is this the little girl I carried..." the WHOLE song. I was so taken aback and wouldn't you know, I forgot the most important part of my wedding apparel - tissues ;-)

The wedding was one of great celebration of what God has designed for marriage! And hopefully most of it will remain in my heart to finish this blog.

In the mean time: Happy Honeymooning Emily and Patrick!!! More importantly welcome to the adventure of marriage.

World's End

It is right here on the south shore of Massachusetts which is not the Cape. Although, I didn't see Reepicheep's ghost. As we near the end of our time here in Hull, I have made it a point to make time to go to the beach even if it is only for 20 minutes. It is here that I feel the nearness of the Lord. Today was quite different. I was on the water for the majority of 2 hours. Michael and I went out in the kayaks in Nantasket Harbor.
The sun was shining, the winds gusting up to 30 miles an hour and neither one of us went into the drink. We conquered the wind and the water and we didn't hit any of the larger crafts that were on the water. It was great to be out there together and come home victorious. Both Michael and I enjoy solitude at the ocean but with the weather being absolutely beautiful this weekend, there really was no solitude to be found. Both of us did venture out alone yesterday but among those celebrating the unofficial start of the New England summer at the beach. Today, we went out together and I am so grateful that we did.
I will miss living so close to the ocean, it is by far one of my favorite places to be when it comes to the outdoors.
Pax,
CM

If someone was to go through stuff in your desk or somewhere else in your house, would you find things dated as far back as December 27th, 2005? This is the oldest thing that I have come across while packing up. That is pretty old for me. It is a newspaper clipping and since it is from when we lived in Naples, FL, I am going to say it is from The Naples Daily News since it simply reads "Daily News" on the top of page 6D.

As you can tell, I am still on the learning curve when it comes to traveling light. I travel lighter than most Americans but I am still not where I would like to be. My willingness to let go of things has certainly increased but staying put for so long (it will be 8 months by the time we leave here) makes the moving on more difficult. This isn't the first time we have moved and not left a state however this time it is much closer, in a much smaller state. Not only are we staying in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, but we will return to the point of departure from 5 years ago - Marlborough. We are looking with anticipation what this summer will bring. A few more family gatherings I suppose since both the Mullaney and MacDonald clans mostly reside in the greater Boston area.

There is still the dream of living somewhere out west (of the Mississippi River that is) and we will see if that will come to pass, in the mean time, there is a box or two looking to be filled. Please do keep in touch.
PAX,
CM

Going through Storage

One comes across some interesting things when you go through storage (for those of us who have things in storage).
There was some yellowed index cards with Quotes from my high school days which were also my bc days (before Christ). Here are a couple:

"People will remember you better if you always wear the same outfit."
David Byrne of The Talking Heads

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
Rudyard Kipling CATE 1984 edition

It is also moving time for the Mullaney Pilgrims. So....that being said I will be off.
Pax,
CM

I am a blessed mother.....

Now writing that from New England can be risky business. "Isn't there only one Blessed Mother?" my Roman Catholic relatives might ask. Not according to the Bible where it says, "Her children arise and call her blessed;" from Proverbs 31 verse 28 That is what my children did yesterday morning. My three young adults thinking ahead with both Dan and Grace leaving early this morning getting on two different flights out of Logan.
I woke up to a lovely breakfast in bed, balloons, streamers and 3 very precious gifts. After we started traveling Grace thought that we ought to scrapbook our adventures. I agreed but I have been terrible about creating pages. Anyway, each of the kids did a scrap book page of themselves and wrote some honoring thoughts acknowledging this Mother's Day. It brought tears to my eyes. What more could I ask for?
Grace is 18 and seems to be just back for visits these days. Katie is 16 and living life to the fullest and Michael is 15 deep voiced, growing and showing greater care and protection of his mother and 2 sisters.
If someone could have showed me even a glimpse of my life today back when I was 18 I would have laughed and said, ridiculous. Oh the blessings I had no idea that were in store for me. To say that I am truly grateful for my husband and kids is a tremendous gift from the Giver of Life.
Wishing all the mothers out there including my own a wonderful mother's day! I hope that your children arise and call you blessed.

It was my sin that held Him there.

Wise as Serpents
"Christian shrewdness must always be governed by dove-like innocence."
Dr. Tom Ascol

When I read this quote on this Sunday morning, my first thought was, "this is how we ought to go about resolving conflict especially amongst the family of God." We are indeed called to be wise and gentle. The Lord has given me wisdom in some very crucial times, but I still struggle with being gentle. I am blessed to be married to someone who has been fashioned with a very merciful spirit and he has definitely helped me in dealing with my very passionate bent toward justice.
If love is to cover a multitude of sins, then we must deal openly with the effects of those sins in order to strengthen and sure up relationships. I am coming to believe that relationships are above all the hardest things to maintain and keep in good repair and that the people involved in those relationships, especially among the family of God, are most dear to the Father in all that He has created. In the gospel of John, Jesus says, "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." In Paul's letter to the Corinthians he states, "I show you a still more excellent way," which leads into the chapter on love. Finally, we are called to live at peace with one another.
What does "loving one another look like?" Some might say, "it is when we are being kind to each other," but I believe that there can be an appearance of kindness without any love. In First Corinthians, it says (and I paraphrase) I can have the tongue of an angel and offer my body to be burned, but if either of these things occur without love, it says "I am as good as a noise gong and it profits me nothing." These two actions, speaking well and laying down my life, amount to nil if they are not motivated by love. My conclusion on the matter is the way we treat one another needs to be motivated with a heart filled with the love of Christ.
Paul tells us that this love has several characteristics, but the one I am particularly thinking of when it comes to peacemaking is: "[love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth." For Christians I think one of the hardest things for us to do is to sit down and have a face-to-face conversation. We need to say things like "this is my wrong doing" or "this is where you wrong me" or "there is something between us and I want to work it out in order to restore our relationship." There are too many Christians who don't want to work it out. It ends up coming out in ways that are far more hurtful then the pain experienced in facing the truth. In the end I have found the people who are willing to go through it become some really close friends or at the very least know that the air is clear. This enables us to live at peace.
My concept of "living at peace with all men" was passed on to me as a child as "peace at any cost." This was defined as 'whatever you do don't talk about it' (at least not with the person involved), leaving no restoration of relationships, having those relationships in disrepair and acting as if everything was fine which created a false sense of peace. Meanwhile inside myself was an uneasiness, unrest and anything but peace. The result being that every interaction after that is not only stained with the unresolved issue(s) from before, but also continues to damage the relationship and all the other relationships that overlap that one. It also is very costly because more people get hurt as a result.

So with an aching heart I pray for wisdom, gentleness and a willingness to do my part in being a minister of reconciliation, not wanting to put a band-aid where the Physician’s hand is needed.

Pax Vobiscum, CM

The breaking of the clouds

A ray of sunshine shoots through my window,
as I look to see it break through the willow,
the beauty of this soft light,
only shows the power of his might!

Clouds begin to form,
and strike a bitter storm,
hiding his great glow,
oh how the clouds billow!

The clouds linger as I stand and look on,
Oh how I wish that they would be gone!
Then comes the rain, and thunder,
the darkness comes to plunder.

The hail strikes me with great bite,
sometimes it becomes so hard to fight,
and just when I think of falling,
his light returns with lovely calling.

-Michael Mullaney

Mullaney Pilgrims

never far from the road

(windmill photo by Katie Mullaney)


Write an email or write a blog? This is the question that I am asking myself after a phone call with my friend Becky in Georgia, who said keep us updated with what is going on. Some of you may or may not know that our daughter, Grace is in Holland right now and will be back in the States next month, Katie has become a great speech writer and Michael's comedic timing is near perfect (I don't want to say perfect because then there would be no room for improvement, there is always room for improvement).

If I just answer the question, "What is going on?" A possible answer is "I am going, and going, and going even though our address here in MA has been the same for nearly 6 months I have spend time in NH, FL, IN, KY, VA Beach, Houston, TX and next week we head to PA."

Living in an old seaside village just south of Boston is a great place for someone like me. Far enough out to enjoy solitude but only a drive away from Boston and the greater metropolitan community. Hull is also the former home of Paragon Park

and the place where I had my first roller coaster ride on the Comet or The Giant Coaster as it was known as back in the day. Since, taking this little detour down memory lane, I went on the web to learn a little bit more about the old ride and I came to find out that the coaster is still in operation at Six Flags in the DC area and is renamed The Wild One. Here I thought it was dead and gone. It makes me want to go to that Six Flags just to ride it with Michael who has never ridden a coaster.

The park closed in 1985 and there are now condos where the park use to be. There are still a few remnants of the old park down on Nantasket Ave.

The plan is to stay here until May 31st, another long stint. (Gainesville, FL having been our longest stay one day short of a year. This Monday will mark the beginning of our 6th year of traveling or will it?) To say that this is a time of evaluation, contemplation and speculation would be pretty accurate. Do we stay or do we go? Do we go somewhere and plant ourselves for a while? A cross roads and we eagerly await the road we will take next, or where the road will take us is probably a little more accurate.

Dan has been working a lot of hours which provides for all of our travel and then some. He is still passionate about his work, celebrating 10 years of nursing on Michael's 15th birthday and being named RN Network's Traveler of the year for 2007.

Since Katie, Michael and I have been on the road so much we have not had a chance to visit with a good number of people that we want to see while we are hear in our earthly homeland. Plans are being made to meet up with some of you and if you are reading this and we haven't been in touch and you want a chance to meet please email me.

The fun part is we have made new friends right here through the national speech and debate league that has taken us to a number of the places I have mentioned. I will end with a shout out to my new friend Sue who is celebrating her birthday today! Happy Birthday Sue!

For those who are followers of Jesus Christ, we remember the broken body and poured out blood of our Lord and Saviour this day.

Non-Readers read no further

Has your Christianity included a steady diet of Max Lucado, John Elledge & Gene Edwards, perhaps Ed Young & Joel Osteen, or G.K. Chesterton & C.S. Lewis maybe John Calvin, Martin Luther & Wycliffe? Now that I have probably offended everyone, please hear me out at least continue to read.

As a family we have been reading Table Talk for the last year and 1/2 or so. It is a monthly publication put out by Ligonier Ministries. The April 2008 issue's theme is the 3 forms of Unity. One of the articles is about the Heidelberg Catechism which I have never heard of before picking up this magazine, as I finished reading the article, it dawned on me - the Lord has given me a rich diet from a variety of saints who have gone on before me. This is why I posed the opening question. If we stay in one spot and let's say it is marked "Baptist & its' sympathizers" (my apologies to all my baptist friends) and only drink and eat the literature approved by them then we reject a whole bunch of wisdom that comes from other brothers & sisters in the faith.

Ecumenicalism is not what I am advocating but what I am saying is let us continue to be seekers of the truth. When the Bible says "seek and you will find, knock and the door will be open' it is not addressing the unbelievers - Jesus was speaking to His followers - when the Word says "seek, find & know" it is not for the unbeliever. Some may disagree but let's look at just three of those passages in context.
Matthew 5 verses 1 & 2
"1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying: "
The Lord began to teach these followers for the next 3 chapters including
Matthew 7; 7-12
"7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

John 8; 31 & 32

31"To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

If you continue searching the Scripture for these 3 verbs, look at them in context and ask the question, "who is being addressed in this passage?" You may be surprised.

It was one of those shining bright moments of gratitude that I have not been limited to just a certain flavor of Christianity. Please know that I realize that we are called to be discerning (and some who I have listed you or I may have an issue with) and to not just accept every book, author or preacher who holds up the bible and says, I am in the way of Christ. The scripture is my measuring stick and if you are a believer then I hope it is yours too.

Grateful for a God bigger than all my aha moments! CM

"I fall, I fail and I cry out for mercy"

A week ago today we attended church with dear friends of our in central MA. There were two families who dedicated children to the Lord. One man who dedicated his second child to the Lord used the following scripture as a prayer request to the seated congregation. From Deuteronomy 6 verses 4 through 9.

"Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one!

"You shall love the LORD your God with

all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.

"You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

"You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.

"You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

I couldn't help but think to myself, is he listening to the words he is saying? does he mean it? Is he willing to do what it takes to "teach" his children "diligently"? If I hadn't been so tired, I would have like to have gone right up to him and his wife after the service and ask him if he meant it. So many things get in the way of us accomplishing this goal.

As I have referred to in previous posts, we are in the home stretch, the heart break hill of parenting. We know that our time with our children now 15,16 & 18 is quickly nearing the finish line. Not that we will no longer be their parents but our role as their parents is changing drastically at this time. Every day I am more convinced that the shortest season of life is childhood. Some say that educating children at home is a calling and this passage above may indicate that it is a little more like a command. If you give away the most precious hours of the day to another whether they be private or public educators, I have a hard time seeing how you can execute Deuteronomy 6. Perhaps the messages of the modern day American church coupled with the messages of the culture seem to be right since that is what most Americans Christians are doing. The Lord however has given us minds, to think, to reason and to question the church and the culture. To see if what these two influences have to say match up with what the Lord has to say. It is difficult to stop and to seek the LORD, search the Word and have HIM search our hearts.

As a Christian, the first authority in my life is Jesus Christ and His Word and believe me I fall, I fail and I cry out for mercy because I can't live up to HIS standards, but GOD is bigger than my faltering ways and HIS GRACE is sufficient to meet all our needs. I have seen the LORD work in my children and I know that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God's purpose. The reason we continue to educate our children at home is primarily out of obedience to God and I can say without regret that this small act of obedience has produce the greatest joy in parenting. This time with our children has allowed us to cultivate relationships with our children that we could have never imagined. Hopefully, we have helped prepared them for life to be affective agents for God's Kingdom.

So my prayer for this couple who are longtime married and very new parents to two little ones is that they would take this scripture to heart, that they would be a living sacrifice in their parenting, indeed that they would walk and talk and impart the ways of the Lord to their children. I sit here convicted by my own words. With the little time left, I pray that my husband and I would take the time to give of ourselves to our children while they still live with us.

PAX VOBISCUM,

CM

"The Most important part of the paper is the funnies."

That is what I tell my kids anyway. It has been my desire to blog everyday and to have oddles of readers, but alas 2 years of desire have not produced the desired results. Commitment. I need to make a commitment to myself. Before we go any further I must share another.

Lio is one of the more twisted comics found in the Boston Herald. The one above is kind of tame. I don't always like it but sometimes it makes me laugh out loud.

I also like the ones that magnify the stupidity of the general population, like in The Duplex. My other favorites are "Close to Home" and "Bounded & Gagged."

The world is going crazy well at least the USA, just pick up the paper and check out the Presidential race. If we don't maintain our sense of humor and keep our priorities straight we may end up going insane ourselves.

Lastly, these are the kind that make me smile and remind me about the important things.

There are so many ideas I want to write about and now I need to go and decide if this is truly something I need to commit to at this stage of the game. Funnies may be the most important part of the paper, puzzles and the obituary run a close second and third.

TEAM 10 Initiation
As many of my readers know our family has been involved in NCFCA (ncfca.org) a competitive speech and debate league for students educated at home since 2004. The first 3 seasons we spent competing in the Southeast (Region 8) and resided in Florida. This past fall we moved to MA (a place we are somewhat familiar with ;-) and we are now competing in Region 10 with a great gang some natives, like ourselves and some wonderful transplants. Last week we experienced our first tournament in the Northeast and it was an experience.
Before moving here there was a strong desire to return to Region 8 but as our kids know we stay open to what the Lord would have us do that included where we will live in any given season. So Katie and Michael have gone with the flow as their sister Grace has gone over the big pond.(that is a whole other blog) We have all made new friends and renewed some old ones.

Now it is not hard to imagine being on an adventure in the home land and it is a fantastic way to be baptized into the pool from which you were originally born. Day 2 of the S.U.N. Tournament it snowed all day and we lost very few community judges and I didn't hear of any competitors or parents being involved in fendah-bendahs. To say I was excited to be at my first tournament in the snow would probably be an understatement. There is a whole different flavor to this Region and we are grateful to be welcomed in with open arms. THANKS TEAM 10!
Working hard is good for the parents as well as the competitors. Those who work hard together also know how to have fun and "initiate in the new kids on the block." The Mullaneys are feelin' the Love.
Pax Vobiscum,
CM

First one sometime in the mid-80's
In one of the Boston papers there is a puzzle that I like to do, "Cryptoquote." (sometimes called Crypograms in other papers) It is a quote that uses different letters to represent the real letters and you have to solve what each letter is for in order to solve the puzzle and read the quote. Since Dan and I are now in the second half of life, I enjoy poking fun at my age on occasion. Yesterday puzzle:

Some of the other papers in the country also have it but most of them give hints. Hints on this kind of puzzle rob a puzzler of the challenge. I would do the puzzle without using the hint. Thankfully, Boston knows what true puzzlers want and that is TO FIGURE IT OUT; ON THEIR OWN.
The quotes range from down right ridiculous to thought provoking. If nothing else it help keep some of the wheels greased in my brain. It is also fun to solve, especially when life throws things at you that are outside of your control and you can't solve the problem.
There are so many of the quotes that have passed me by, that I haven't shared with anyone. But this post is not so much about the quotes as much as it is a little thing about me that you might not have know.
Have a great day.
Pax,
CM

Two days into the New Year

Life takes us through seasons and to say that we are in one that definitely feels like going into the deep heart of winter, not like those who fall asleep more like those who know that the hope of spring will surely come to pass.  Girls becoming women and a boy becoming a man, at the same time their parents saying what is next for us:  wanting to finish the marathon of parenthood and continuing to struggle through heartbreak hill and wanting to also dream about the next stage.  

Community:  this little tight-knit one called our family is going through changes and it can get a bit uncomfortable at times.  The Lord will preserve us and His grace will see us through it all.  People come in and out of our lives and we are blessed to be here and welcome the fellowship on the Spirit with the brothers and sisters that are put in our path.  

As you change your calendars do not be afraid of the changes that come with journeying on in this life.  Embrace these times because it is in this season that we live.

Thank you God.  

Pax, 

CM

Did you get it for Christmas?

Even us adults are asked, "what did you get for Christmas?"
I am going to be much more specific:
Did you get peace that passes human understanding?
Did you give and receive Love?
Did you make someone else's day?
Did you extend forgiveness and grace?
Were you patient with a little one who just wanted more?
While in line at the mall did you extend kindness? Did you allow the goodness of Jesus Christ shine through as you sat through 3 green lights?
Above all:
Did you experience, did you get JOY that's unspeakable?
If not, go to the One who gives it, the God of the Universe, the One who came as a babe humbly the same way we came into the world, except He came to redeem the world, confess your need for forgiveness and walk in newness of faith.

Merry Christmas: Go out with Rejoicing, Dancing and Singing!!!

PotPoG IV
More from Brother Lawrence
"We must behave very simply with God, and speak frankly to Him, asking Him for help in things as they happen. It had often been his experience that God does not fail to give His help."

This in a way describes my prayer life. As things approach and as they are happening, I am praying and asking for God's guidance. I don't tend to be one of those pray'ers who have a big list of things around the world that I am praying about and it is only recently that I have peace about it. Strange the lies we tell ourselves: "because I am not praying for the soldiers in Iraq, and the people of Durfur, I thought I was a second class Christian." Then the TRUTH swept in to dispel the lie. God has all
different kinds of children and therefore, we will pray in different kinds of ways. So, when I do ask for help, I get what I need and that makes all the difference. When I spin my wheels and try to do things in my own strength, I will get things done and even do a good job, but often it is not the best or on occasion not the right job. On this journey called life I continue to learn.

Case in point, this past week I was offered a platform which I took but failed to deliver the message that I believed God wanted me to give. It was at a meeting where I was the speaker, the topic was the 2nd step of Alcoholics Anonymous part 2 "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." I did pray prior to the meeting, prior to speaking but I stumbled. I am still learning and I believe that this failure was for my benefit.

I shared how I no longer ask God to keep me away from a drink and a drug because it is a gift that God has given me and He wants me to simply be grateful every day for the gift. I left it at that and really didn't tie it into the chapter we read or the other comments that I made. In the chapter, it says, "elimination of our drinking is but a beginning" then further it says,"the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind." This is where the restoration of sanity needs to take place in the mind. If my main prayer concern is simply the physical sobriety then I will not get down to causes and conditions which are centered in my mind. I had to go on in my relationship with God and turn my whole will and life over to the care of God (not just physical sobriety: which is included), ask to do His will and not my own. Still isn't this the wrestling match we stay in while living life in the flesh. I believe we have times of rest because we surrender utterly to God and we know His peace but we are a living sacrifice which means we have the ability to crawl off the table and go do our own thing. We must go on and grow spiritually.

The message I believe that I was to give is WHO I came to believe in and that would be Jesus Christ, not the one of the imperfect church but the one of the Bible, the Son of God who came to seek and save those who were lost. I didn't go looking for Him, He came found me and changed the course of my life for all eternity. This is the Carpenter who is in the business of restoring mankind. We are his workmanship and consequently we cannot take any of the credit.

So, these two cross section of my life are interwoven and I was afraid of what other people would think of me or what they might say in response to my sharing and I had to ask God to remove my fear just to share it here with you, my readers. This is real life and at times it seems very complicated. Living is simple if we let go of all the junk, ask God to restore (or renew) our minds, and let Him live through us.

May peace, mercy, joy and a sound mind be multiplied to each of you.